Madly in Love, with ME!

Today's topic on Tamil TV talk show Neeya Naana was something I was thinking about last week. The discussion was about promoting and projecting one self(Warning: Extreme prattle ahead!). With the social media(blogs included) providing the perfect spot light, its a Me, Myself, Mine era.
Its the time for Selfies, "Me time"s and self-indulgence. You read, watch, eat, drink, feel, ponder and celebrate on social media. There is a 'Me' in the real world and there is a 'Me' in the virtual world. Slowly and silently, the idealist in everyone takes over and envelops the real 'Me' in the virtual world. The gap between the two 'Me's grows in proportion to the flaws that I want to overcome, those I wish I never had. Those who know the real 'Me' develop a distaste for the virtual 'Me' that I am not. Those who know the virtual 'Me' have trouble adapting to the real 'Me'. Projecting oneself falsely or rather idealistically happens in real world too but the problem with the virtual world is the amount of control one has in doing so. The point am trying to make is not about the pros or cons of the social media. Rather, its about the transformation that is happening within us. There is a perspective shift from earning something to deserving something. A surge in the level of consciousness about self. Letting go of the consciousness happens consciously too. And sadly, we want the world to know that as well.

Random thoughts on blogging and aspiring writers

I had been blog-hopping today and as always, was feeling overwhelmed at the number of super good blogs I stumbled upon. Every blog was well maintained, every post well written, every idea conceived with clarity! And that brought me back to the ever-gnawing question of what I am doing with this blog. It is neither focused(on specific area) nor is it updated regularly. Still, why should I blog? Shouldn't I be abandoning it? That moment, one of my favorite quotes flashed in my mind.

The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.

On a similar note, I was pondering upon the world of possibilities blogosphere has opened up to aspiring writers. When I read books of an amateur(err, should I say aspiring?) writer, clearly, there is a huge scope for improvement in their work. And when I read a post by Ashok Rajagopalan, I couldn't agree more on how rewriting helps a lot! I wish I could share it with every aspiring writer looking for feedback. But I doubt that it might be mistaken as plain rude and since I don't have much authority on books-authoring-and-such-stuff other than reading and sharing my views in the blog, I share the post here :) Rewriting to make it louder and funnier

Little Emperor(BM #21)

Let me start with a disclaimer. Just like sun sign traits that work with most people, this Single child Syndrome works with most I have met, not ALL.

Raised as a single child, these people develop a sense of being in their own world. Not introvert. Not silent. Loners, to some extent. May be, I can say they are not accommodative enough.

This is also referred to as 'Little Emperor Syndrome', it seems. What an apt name!

Are you a single child? Do you agree with the stereotyping? 

Perseverance is the word...(BM #15)

...when participating in a blogathon. So, grabbing the opportunity for a tag from JanusRamblings .

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope. The name was given by my father's sister(Aunt), I understand. So, my mom gave me a nick name and that stuck unofficially :)

2. When was the last time you cried? I don't make a note :-P though the major breakdown, recently, was when my baby was few days old and I was overwhelmed with the responsibilities *facepalm*

3. Do you have kids? Yes, a well-deserved one :)

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? Err..hmm, depends on the person, really. Am not someone difficult to befriend but am certainly a tough one to sustain.

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Runs in the blood(read, Tanjore) *evil wink* but used only if the receiving end deserves it.

6. Will you ever bungee-jump? NEVER! What would my baby do without me? :(

7. What’s your favorite cereal? Am a VIP(Vadai, Idli, Pongal) person :-D.. okay, I lifted that funny acronym from a drama! Few months back, when we moved to the US, my hubby told me, don't take so much trouble, we will have cereal fir breakfast and I stuffed the abhistoo's mouth with Idlis (Note to self - read that book Salt, Sugar and Fat at the earliest opportunity)

8. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Looks and Attitude.

9. What is your eye colour? Brown. How does it matter? Is there any personality trait associated? :-P

10. Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings ALWAYS!

11. Favorite smells? Rice thats getting cooked, Baby, New books, Filter Kaapi, Coriander leaves, Smoke from a Homam,  

12. Summer or winter? Something in between :-/

13. Computer or television? Computer, Computer, Computer - one that works at the speed of my mind.

14. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Bangalore. My family was in Chennai. That was for my first job, then I got a transfer in some 3-4 months :-D

15. Do you have any special talents? Nothing that is special.

16. Where were you born? Chennai. Chennai. Chennai. That is all my life is about!

17. What are your hobbies? I dread this question! Few years back, I suddenly had this realisation that I should have an answer when someone ask me this Q and started reading books for which I already had some liking. And am happy am pursuing it. But seriously, I regret that I haven't taken any hobby seriously since my childhood and now dream of taking up gardening, going for a crash course on Italian cuisine, learning a language and more.Wait, this deserves a post :-D

18. Do you have any pets?  No, anything that wiggles when held are scary! (A baby is an exception, ofcourse)

19. Favorite movie? Abiyum naanum, Vasool Raja MBBS, Vinnai thaandi varuvaaya, Mozhi, Kaadhalika neramillai, Ethir neechal, Server sundaram - to name a few randomly.

20. Do you have any siblings? Yes, an elder sis!

21. What do you want to be when you grow up? To be grown up! In all aspects.

Why are Myths retold? (BM # 14)

Why are Myths retold? Why do we read Myths over and over?

Is it because they are ancient? 

Is it because they involve gods, demi-gods and the like?

Is it because they have morals formulated for humankind?

Is it because of the beauty of narration?

Is it because of the plethora of characters offering a multitude of views and perspectives?

Is it because they portray or might portray the ways and lives of our ancestors?

Is it because they provide the perfect canvas for fantasy?

Nostalgia - Comics and stuff (BM #11)

Am not typing a long post. Let the pics do the talking :-)

A tryst with the Almighty (BM #4)

Not long before, there lived(and still lives) a young shy girl. She was born in a community where Lord M in his C avatar was worshiped fervently. She once overheard her father comment about her being an atheist. This was when she was too young to have any opinions but she believed what her father said. Therefore, she grew up an atheist. 

During her primary school days, she was one among the favorites of her teachers so they dragged her into the prayer sessions. She had no choice and would simply be the black sheep in the flock. And finally the day came when she was out of the primary school. She felt relieved and entered the secondary school with a pride that she is all grown up and can now opt out of such prayer sessions.

Alas, the secondary education curriculum had compulsory lessons on Lord M and He contributed a small portion to the overall marks and again she had no choice. She attended the classes without trying to comprehend anything from the lessons because she was an atheist. On the day when students were tested on the subject, she hoped no one else heard her answers. 

But then one of her primary school teachers joined the secondary school and she roped in her ex-students to prayer sessions. With a hesitant mind, she joined the prayer sessions again. On one such session, the teacher found that the prayer wasn't effective enough. May be the teacher knew that someone was not praying whole-heartedly. Not wanting to hurt anyone, she gracefully told her students that non-believers are free to leave. Grabbing the opportunity, she walked out of the hall herself not wanting to hurt the sentiments of others. From then on, she never budged to anyone's cajoling to join them in their madness, madness like that of Gopikas dancing around Lord Krishna. 

As fate would have it, she married a follower of R avatar of Lord M and most of their leisure time was spent listening to Lord R's teachings and hymns. As a couple, they started enjoying the Aham Brahmasmi show on their favorite channel and started giving opinions, jokingly, about the prayer of other devotees. And then she was pregnant and advice poured from everywhere about how her non-stop prayers during her pregnancy is going to have a positive effect on the Baby. Like every mother, she tried her best to give the best to her unborn baby. She started listening to mantras on Lord C, which only a born-believer could understand, she thought. Nevertheless, she tried her best. But deep within, somewhere in her 20s, she had already started accepting that Lord M is the ultimate reliever of pain and misery and bestows peace upon his devotees. Now she yearns to become an ardent devotee but she has distanced herself so much from Lord M that now He is beyond her reach.

P.S: The 'she' is yours faithfully and Lord M is Music!

Glossary

C avatar - Carnatic

Atheist - Gnanam venum gnanam venum doi...

Prayer sessions - Choir

Madness - Antakshari

R avatar - Raja Sir (Ilayaraja)

Aham Brahmasmi - Super Singer on Star Vijay

And yeah, me and my hubby pass comments such as 'sruthi serala', 'gamakkam seri illa', 'sangathi vizhala' when watching someone sing on TV with NIL knowledge of the above mentioned technicalities :-)

TAO - Doing NOTHING!

The Art Of doing nothing - Just this stuff, then i will log off the computer. Just this chapter, then I will close the book. Just the preparation for dinner, then I will do nothing. Oh! Doing nothing is not at all easy, with my ring-master mind that keeps adding items to my to-do list.

What is TAO?

TAO - The dangling conversation

The Art Of replying to a conversation(mail or message) only to realize later that you only framed the response in mind and not in writing! I do it all the time, Weird!

What is TAO?

TAOism

No, not the chinese TAO! This is my own TAO - 'The Art Of' doing something. Quite a few years back, when I was working for Infosys, I became interested in the internal writers forums. Its not meant for serious writers or anything, that I had been a part of it is a proof enough. My first post was titled 'The Art of doing Nothing' and talked about well, doing nothing. And it did create some ripples or so I wish to believe.

Now reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert and coming across Bel far niente(beauty of doing nothing), my memories went back to the above mentioned attempt at Infy. And why not bring out the TAO of other things as well! Rest in next... :-) 

Some much needed attention

We were blessed with a baby girl recently! Like every other new mother, I was lost in the world of motherhood. My thoughts, speech, action everything was limited to few words - nursing, diapering and comforting! Just about the time I was contemplating if I should post a 'hiatus' update and if there would actually be a single soul to feel my presence/absence in the blogosphere, tada, there comes a liebster award from Aarthy! :-)

Firstly, thanks a ton for the recognition and for visiting my blog. Also, a special thanks is due as her post on liebster award gives me lots of new blogs to read :-D  Along with the award comes the task of answering Qs posted by Aarthy, ten random facts about me and the honour of passing the baton.

Random facts about me

I have done this already here but there is no end when it comes to talking about self :-D. 

• My baby came after 6 years of married life. I wish our society doesn't make TTC such a stressful phase. Am happy that am out of it and sympathize with those undergoing it.
• Sugar coated talk is an art. I wish i could learn it.
• I am a loser when it comes to food :-D
• Looking good and fit tops my post-partum list.
• I have curly hair. Having a high forehead worsens things. I straightened it twice but its a costly process, so please someone give me tips to style it :-P
• I love coffee. Not just any coffee, South indian Filter Kaapi :-)
• I am scared of dogs. My hubby loves dogs. Thankfully we live in an apartment and there is no chance for him to ask me about having one. On second thought, may be, I will let go of my inhibitions if he really wants one.
• I cheated. I did not write 10 random facts :-P

Coming to the Qs posted by Aarthy,

Which is that part of your daily routine which energises you to go through the day?

Starting the day early energizes me! Not that am an early riser everyday but there is definitely something about the rising sun, the breeze, the sound of birds, the brisk morning walkers, the aroma of sambar from someone's kitchen and of course the piping hot coffee :-)

For you, a day well spent would be ...?

A day well spent would ideally start as above and should be filled with laughs and giggles irrespective of where i am, with whom and what am up to. Ideally it would just be me and my hubby roaming around, nice weather, no plans, chatting mindlessly, good food and few hours of shopping.

If you were allowed to re-live some part of your life, would you opt for it? If yes, which part of your life would you choose?

I would want to relive the few months before my wedding and the day of my wedding. Because I always have a feeling that I missed being 'present in the moment' enjoying the occasion and those days passed with certain tension and apprehension. Especially I should have spent more time with my mother(who passed away few months after my wedding) planning and shopping for wedding and talking about married life and such.

What does writing mean to you?

My blog name says it all :-) Unspoken words.

Do you take conscious efforts to improve your writing or just allow it take its own course?

I don't take conscious effort but every post is written with the effort of giving my best.

Do you feel it is necessary to market your blog?

Yes, marketing is necessary. What level of marketing depends on the intention of the blog. For personal blogs like this, finding like-minded bloggers, interacting with them and developing a bond is much needed to keep the spirit going.

What are your thoughts on blogging contests?

Again, they are needed to keep the spirit going and finding fellow bloggers.

Which genre do you enjoy writing the most? (Poetry, Stories,Musings, Or any other .. )

Musings and book reviews.

Do you have ambitions of writing a book someday? Why?

Haa haa, i have no such ambitions but i day dream about it :-) Actually, I day dream about a career that involves books  not exactly authoring.

How do you handle the proverbial writer’s block?

I write. :-) Yes, too much planning and procrastination doesn't help. I just start off with a new post. Then it takes care of itself. 

Now, I pass on this honor to Green Boochi, LittleVoids and SummerScript. I enjoy reading their blogs, the way they express themselves and their life in words.

Over to you three... All you need to do is 

• Accept the award :)
• Nominate ten bloggers whom you feel should be encouraged to continue their good work and haven't got this award already.(They should have less than 200 followers)
• Write ten random facts about yourself
• Answer the questions that I have posed above
• Put down ten questions for your nominees to answer

10 Q for them

• What are the top three qualities you would teach your child? 
• What do you do to bring yourself out of a bad mood?
• Do you read self help books? How effective do you think they are?
• What sort of gifts do you enjoy/like the most?
• What do you do to keep yourself updated with current trends, be it politics, society, books, technology or fashion?
• When am old, I wish i don't ------ : what would that be?
• What is that you would like to contribute to your neighbourhood/community (however small the deed is)? Have you done it already? If no, what's stopping you?
• How do you think your life should be? Are you living it?
• If you could follow one practice from the bygone lifestyle of our ancestors, what would that be?
• What is your dream career? Do you have plans to pursue it in future? 

Waiting to read your responses :-) Hope the Qs aren't boring or philosophical!

Atheism, Theism and Tolerance

The 'Neengalum Vellalam Oru Kodi '(Tamil version of KBC) program yesterday featured Actor Kamalhaasan and today I see a harsh status on Facebook from a friend about his repeated expression of atheistic views in every stage claiming he mocks at God and religious views. This is not the first time I hear reactions about Kamalhaasan's atheistic views among my family and friends. And almost every time the reaction is more of an outburst, explosive anger expressed with so much hatred and rage. On a deeper note, it seems like the person wants to hide oneself under a protective shell of unarguable belief, which should not even be attempted to be questioned. In doing so, they end up targeting the private lives of the atheist and finding faults in their behavior, as if theists are void of these. 

To sum up, Religion is just a view and a way of living. Everyone is entitled to their own views and no one has the rights to derogate other's beliefs. But the point am trying to make here is, theists are the ones who mostly take offense in whatever an atheist says. Every question about a belief is an insult! If you are a firm believer, why not brush off the so-called-offenders without an ugly show off of insecurity, intolerance and blame game. Live and let Live!

Not-so-brief P.S: To answer the question whether am an atheist or theist, am neither! Yes, am a confused soul. If complete refusal of existence of a super power and shunning our Vedas, Epics, Culture and the way of living practiced by our ancestors  is atheism, am not an atheist. If blind surrender to religious views, visiting temples dutifully, saying Rama/Krishna/Jesus even at the drop of a pin, performing fasting, 'nerthi kadan/venduthal'(tamil word for offering something or performing a ritual in return for a fulfilled prayer) and the likes is theism, am not an theist.

And regarding the FB status on Kamalhaasan's views, I have followed Kamal's remarks and views in many stages and yes, he stresses atheism at every given opportunity but never have I felt that he insults or mocks. Infact, he quotes liberally from Epics and the like which only shows that he is well-read and has taken his stand after understanding what Hinduism and other Religions propagate.

Random stuff about me

I have read many bloggers posting random stuff about oneself and I enjoy reading such posts. Such posts are mostly tags, since am new to blogosphere and don’t have anyone to tag me :-P I take it upon myself to write this post. Haa haa, I wanted to get into some introspection and if not anything it’s going to be self-indulgence to read this few years down the road. Since the list grew too long, I grouped them for the sake of easy reading.

LIKES and DISLIKES 

• I love reading books and its one habit I am mighty proud of, for not giving up.
• I can’t really tell what my all-time favourites are. Like fav color, fav food etc. It all depends on the context and mood.
• I don’t like listening to/narrating movie plots, the kind we all do when in school/college.
• I wish I had been exposed to (Mind you, just exposed not learnt) Carnatic Music so that I can enjoy the technicalities of music in depth.
• Am quite ok at doing crafty stuff but everything ends up with a not-so-professional finish. I think this has got to do with lots of motivation but no teacher.
• I love cooking and watching cookery shows. Inspite of the fact that am a vegetarian, I watch shows cooking non-vegetarian dishes too. I don’t flinch at the sight of meat like some orthodox vegetarians do.
• I love browsing the internet and am quite good at it. I believe I have an eye for finding the right thing.
• The most striking feature that I like about myself is my brain :-) Well, you might not be able to see it (pun intended) but am in awe at how it thinks what it thinks, how it arrives to a solution and how it connects the dots.

ATTITUDE 

• Am highly self-motivated, no matter whatever life deprives me of. At the same time, I lack direction and never seem to know where to start.
• I don’t rush into friendship or any relationship for that matter. I believe it should grow over the years  naturally and not start with pomp only to be continued with bitterness and grudges.
• With the exception of first few interactions when I keep my mind open and don’t form opinions, Give and Take is my policy. Be it respect, reciprocation of love/hatred, being in touch, favors. There is no one-for-one, though.
• The good part is I do, almost everything, with utmost sincerity. And the bad part is I expect it from others too.
• I hate procrastination. Just do it or better don’t say it.
• Just because what I do or don't do might not seem right to you, doesn't make me wrong.
• No, am not rude, insensitive or arrogant. It’s just a reaction. Remember? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
• When I realize it is beyond someone's capacity to understand something, I give up. The universe will take care of them.

I WISH I COULD CHANGE 

• I am great at losing touch with people I look up to/like/share interests with and NO, am not at all proud of it.
• I know nothing or little about the Indian political scenario. I have not come across any politician whom I can look upto. It’s always like a choice between known devil and unknown angel. The least I do is, cast my vote.
• My face is the index of my mind. It clearly shows, much to my embarrassment, what’s on my mind especially when am in disagreement with something or just don’t give a damn.

AM AT PEACE 

• I prefer peaceful walks and calm dinners to partying or get together with not so familiar people. On the contrary, I love attending weddings inspite of the crowd.
• I can very well spend time by myself, if I wish to. Actually, I prefer that to uncomfortable company.
• Am not particularly good at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, firsts etc. Even on occasions I do, I don’t feel the compulsion to wish unless it’s heartfelt or someone who I meet regularly. Mostly, I wish to avoid offending other’s sentiments. I honestly don’t understand the ‘It’s my day, am on top of the world, ALL SMILES’ stuff people exhibit. But hey, that’s MY opinion; I don’t have any personal grudges against people who enjoy special days. But please, don’t force your attitude on me.
• I don’t have an iota of interest in sports and I don’t intend to do anything about it!
• When it comes to finances, am very insecure and want enough reserve to meet unexpected circumstances before splurging.
• Am nearing the end of my twenties and I am not worried/concerned about not having accomplished anything notable so far. I believe 35-45 is the prime in anyone’s life and am sure I will, at the minimum, find what’s my calling by then. Till that time, all I want to do is keep myself motivated and stay positive.

YOU RATHER STAY AWAY, PLEASE 

• I can’t take too much of incessant talking, boasting, gossiping, looking down at others, sticking one’s nose in, saying something and doing JUST the opposite.
• Talking over and over about the same thing just for the heck of it and not making a point is a strict NO-NO. Radio Jockeys are exceptions but don’t forget to play few songs in between :-P
• In a sense, I don’t like being questioned in detail about trivial things. When am into something, don’t ask me every detail about how, when, what, why just for the sake of it unless it’s going to be of some use to you.
• If you are one of the listed kind, please do me a favor by staying away. 'look at my life, its doomed', 'am just waiting for my end', 'anything is ok, i have no interest you know' 
• Preach ONLY if you follow!

Writing to me is...

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Writing to me is the unspoken word. And that’s exactly what I wanted to do with this blog. What better way than giving it a celebratory start with Blogadda’s WOW :-)

I am not a writer and am not sure if I have a way with words. But I intend to express the beautiful thoughts (so I believe :-)) that cross my mind but never find a stage. There are times when I have wanted to give a fitting response, a snap reply, express my opinion about a social issue or put forth a sensible point but have refrained myself from doing so for many reasons.
The reason could be anything ranging from accepting the individuality of thoughts to trying not to be rude to not having the right platform to simply acknowledging to myself that responding is a damn waste of time. Also, being a person allergic to verbal diarrhoea, I prefer to record these unspoken words as raves or rants or musings, whichever word fits the bill.

I am also a strong believer of the wonders a book can do the creativity of a child. Amidst all the celebrations, chaos and routine of life, am constantly struggling not to give up reading to nurture the undying curiosity of the child within me. And of late, I have discovered that reviewing a book helps me immensely in analysing my own thought process. It helps me in preserving the moments I shared with the book to posterity. So this blog will also record my opinions on the books I read.

Most importantly, Writing takes me into a meditative state of mind streamlining all the rushing thoughts into focused expressions. I want to decongest my mind of negative opinions and be conscious of my own self. I would be happier if my writing triggers a thought or two in the mind of the readers.