TAO - Doing NOTHING!

The Art Of doing nothing - Just this stuff, then i will log off the computer. Just this chapter, then I will close the book. Just the preparation for dinner, then I will do nothing. Oh! Doing nothing is not at all easy, with my ring-master mind that keeps adding items to my to-do list.

What is TAO?

TAO - The dangling conversation

The Art Of replying to a conversation(mail or message) only to realize later that you only framed the response in mind and not in writing! I do it all the time, Weird!

What is TAO?

TAOism

No, not the chinese TAO! This is my own TAO - 'The Art Of' doing something. Quite a few years back, when I was working for Infosys, I became interested in the internal writers forums. Its not meant for serious writers or anything, that I had been a part of it is a proof enough. My first post was titled 'The Art of doing Nothing' and talked about well, doing nothing. And it did create some ripples or so I wish to believe.

Now reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert and coming across Bel far niente(beauty of doing nothing), my memories went back to the above mentioned attempt at Infy. And why not bring out the TAO of other things as well! Rest in next... :-) 

Stranded but not lost!

Just one more month and we are going to start a fresh year. And here I am, failing miserably in all the four challenges in addition to the Goodreads challenge(8 read toward the goal of 20) I took this year, Am I discouraged? Not at all! I am looking forward to taking fresh challenges the coming year and may be, may be I will complete them next year,

Some much needed attention

We were blessed with a baby girl recently! Like every other new mother, I was lost in the world of motherhood. My thoughts, speech, action everything was limited to few words - nursing, diapering and comforting! Just about the time I was contemplating if I should post a 'hiatus' update and if there would actually be a single soul to feel my presence/absence in the blogosphere, tada, there comes a liebster award from Aarthy! :-)
Firstly, thanks a ton for the recognition and for visiting my blog. Also, a special thanks is due as her post on liebster award gives me lots of new blogs to read :-D  Along with the award comes the task of answering Qs posted by Aarthy, ten random facts about me and the honour of passing the baton.

Random facts about me

I have done this already here but there is no end when it comes to talking about self :-D. 
  • My baby came after 6 years of married life. I wish our society doesn't make TTC such a stressful phase. Am happy that am out of it and sympathize with those undergoing it.
  • Sugar coated talk is an art. I wish i could learn it.
  • I am a loser when it comes to food :-D
  • Looking good and fit tops my post-partum list.
  • I have curly hair. Having a high forehead worsens things. I straightened it twice but its a costly process, so please someone give me tips to style it :-P
  • I love coffee. Not just any coffee, South indian Filter Kaapi :-)
  • I am scared of dogs. My hubby loves dogs. Thankfully we live in an apartment and there is no chance for him to ask me about having one. On second thought, may be, I will let go of my inhibitions if he really wants one.
  • I cheated. I did not write 10 random facts :-P

Coming to the Qs posted by Aarthy,

Which is that part of your daily routine which energises you to go through the day?
Starting the day early energizes me! Not that am an early riser everyday but there is definitely something about the rising sun, the breeze, the sound of birds, the brisk morning walkers, the aroma of sambar from someone's kitchen and of course the piping hot coffee :-)

For you, a day well spent would be ...?
A day well spent would ideally start as above and should be filled with laughs and giggles irrespective of where i am, with whom and what am up to. Ideally it would just be me and my hubby roaming around, nice weather, no plans, chatting mindlessly, good food and few hours of shopping.

If you were allowed to re-live some part of your life, would you opt for it? If yes, which part of your life would you choose?
I would want to relive the few months before my wedding and the day of my wedding. Because I always have a feeling that I missed being 'present in the moment' enjoying the occasion and those days passed with certain tension and apprehension. Especially I should have spent more time with my mother(who passed away few months after my wedding) planning and shopping for wedding and talking about married life and such.

What does writing mean to you?
My blog name says it all :-) Unspoken words.

Do you take conscious efforts to improve your writing or just allow it take its own course?
I don't take conscious effort but every post is written with the effort of giving my best.

Do you feel it is necessary to market your blog?
Yes, marketing is necessary. What level of marketing depends on the intention of the blog. For personal blogs like this, finding like-minded bloggers, interacting with them and developing a bond is much needed to keep the spirit going.

What are your thoughts on blogging contests?
Again, they are needed to keep the spirit going and finding fellow bloggers.

Which genre do you enjoy writing the most? (Poetry, Stories,Musings, Or any other .. )
Musings and book reviews.

Do you have ambitions of writing a book someday? Why?
Haa haa, i have no such ambitions but i day dream about it :-) Actually, I day dream about a career that involves books  not exactly authoring.

How do you handle the proverbial writer’s block?
I write. :-) Yes, too much planning and procrastination doesn't help. I just start off with a new post. Then it takes care of itself. 

Now, I pass on this honor to Green Boochi, LittleVoids and SummerScript. I enjoy reading their blogs, the way they express themselves and their life in words.

Over to you three... All you need to do is 
  • Accept the award :)
  • Nominate ten bloggers whom you feel should be encouraged to continue their good work and haven't got this award already.(They should have less than 200 followers)
  • Write ten random facts about yourself
  • Answer the questions that I have posed above
  • Put down ten questions for your nominees to answer
10 Q for them
  • What are the top three qualities you would teach your child? 
  • What do you do to bring yourself out of a bad mood?
  • Do you read self help books? How effective do you think they are?
  • What sort of gifts do you enjoy/like the most?
  • What do you do to keep yourself updated with current trends, be it politics, society, books, technology or fashion?
  • When am old, I wish i don't ------ : what would that be?
  • What is that you would like to contribute to your neighbourhood/community (however small the deed is)? Have you done it already? If no, what's stopping you?
  • How do you think your life should be? Are you living it?
  • If you could follow one practice from the bygone lifestyle of our ancestors, what would that be?
  • What is your dream career? Do you have plans to pursue it in future? 

Waiting to read your responses :-) Hope the Qs aren't boring or philosophical!

Short blogging hiatus

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle

Enjoying and coping with motherhood :-)

Atheism, Theism and Tolerance

The 'Neengalum Vellalam Oru Kodi '(Tamil version of KBC) program yesterday featured Actor Kamalhaasan and today I see a harsh status on Facebook from a friend about his repeated expression of atheistic views in every stage claiming he mocks at God and religious views. This is not the first time I hear reactions about Kamalhaasan's atheistic views among my family and friends. And almost every time the reaction is more of an outburst, explosive anger expressed with so much hatred and rage. On a deeper note, it seems like the person wants to hide oneself under a protective shell of unarguable belief, which should not even be attempted to be questioned. In doing so, they end up targeting the private lives of the atheist and finding faults in their behavior, as if theists are void of these. 

To sum up, Religion is just a view and a way of living. Everyone is entitled to their own views and no one has the rights to derogate other's beliefs. But the point am trying to make here is, theists are the ones who mostly take offense in whatever an atheist says. Every question about a belief is an insult! If you are a firm believer, why not brush off the so-called-offenders without an ugly show off of insecurity, intolerance and blame game. Live and let Live!

Not-so-brief P.S: To answer the question whether am an atheist or theist, am neither! Yes, am a confused soul. If complete refusal of existence of a super power and shunning our Vedas, Epics, Culture and the way of living practiced by our ancestors  is atheism, am not an atheist. If blind surrender to religious views, visiting temples dutifully, saying Rama/Krishna/Jesus even at the drop of a pin, performing fasting, 'nerthi kadan/venduthal'(tamil word for offering something or performing a ritual in return for a fulfilled prayer) and the likes is theism, am not an theist.

And regarding the FB status on Kamalhaasan's views, I have followed Kamal's remarks and views in many stages and yes, he stresses atheism at every given opportunity but never have I felt that he insults or mocks. Infact, he quotes liberally from Epics and the like which only shows that he is well-read and has taken his stand after understanding what Hinduism and other Religions propagate.

Aging gracefully


Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
― Abigail Van Buren
Every time I see an article or a talk show about how old people are not respected, are not treated good, how their off-springs are not performing their duties etc etc, I earnestly desire they see the other side as well. People, old or otherwise, have to be treated well, respected and cared for. Agreed. But why blame the young generation all the time without considering what they are/were being subjected to by the now old people.

I am not talking about ALL old people here but just trying to say that its very easy and common to take the side of a self-sympathizing, ailing, aging parent without considering the stance of the younger generation.

Today's senior citizens seem to want both the security of joint family and the luxury of nuclear family. They want the comforts that their children's money could buy but do not want to offer help with the struggles faced by the son/daughter and their spouse in balancing work and life and raising kids in a nuclear family. While I don't expect them to raise their grandchildren all by themselves, can't they be accommodating enough to oversee a cook or a servant or a baby caretaker?

They want to spend their retired lives peacefully with trips, tours and other leisurely activities but they do not realize that the youngsters too need some peace with all the struggle in today's fast paced life and the stress & pressure it brings along. While I don't expect them to cook, clean up and care for the home all the time, can't they be accommodating enough to give them a break once in a while?

Your children are neither an extension to your life to do things that you missed doing nor an accessory to be shown off proudly to your relatives and friends or to be compared with theirs. So what if a relative's daughter/son settled abroad and invited her/his parents to visit them on a vacation? While we don't expect them to leave behind a 'fat' will, can''t they be grateful enough for the life they lived and are living rather than whine and complain?

They dwell in the past, have the same rules or 'duty list' for their children and daughter in laws(especially) and fail to understand that the times are changing and so should the rules. While I don't expect them to treat their DILs like their own daughter, can't they be accommodating enough to not expect the DIL to take complete charge as soon as she enters home after a long day at work or in the weekends?

Aging gracefully doesn't just mean looking young at your 50s and 60s but its all about feeling young, lively, matured, accommodating and forgiving. Give, Offer and Love your children without expectations and they will follow your example.
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.
- Judith Viorst
Do you see the point behind this post? Let me know your thoughts...

Random stuff about me


I have read many bloggers posting random stuff about oneself and I enjoy reading such posts. Such posts are mostly tags, since am new to blogosphere and don’t have anyone to tag me :-P I take it upon myself to write this post. Haa haa, I wanted to get into some introspection and if not anything it’s going to be self-indulgence to read this few years down the road. Since the list grew too long, I grouped them for the sake of easy reading.

LIKES and DISLIKES 
  • I love reading books and its one habit I am mighty proud of, for not giving up.
  • I can’t really tell what my all-time favourites are. Like fav color, fav food etc. It all depends on the context and mood.
  • I don’t like listening to/narrating movie plots, the kind we all do when in school/college.
  • I wish I had been exposed to (Mind you, just exposed not learnt) Carnatic Music so that I can enjoy the technicalities of music in depth.
  • Am quite ok at doing crafty stuff but everything ends up with a not-so-professional finish. I think this has got to do with lots of motivation but no teacher.
  • I love cooking and watching cookery shows. Inspite of the fact that am a vegetarian, I watch shows cooking non-vegetarian dishes too. I don’t flinch at the sight of meat like some orthodox vegetarians do.
  • I love browsing the internet and am quite good at it. I believe I have an eye for finding the right thing.
  • The most striking feature that I like about myself is my brain :-) Well, you might not be able to see it (pun intended) but am in awe at how it thinks what it thinks, how it arrives to a solution and how it connects the dots.
ATTITUDE 
  • Am highly self-motivated, no matter whatever life deprives me of. At the same time, I lack direction and never seem to know where to start.
  • I don’t rush into friendship or any relationship for that matter. I believe it should grow over the years  naturally and not start with pomp only to be continued with bitterness and grudges.
  • With the exception of first few interactions when I keep my mind open and don’t form opinions, Give and Take is my policy. Be it respect, reciprocation of love/hatred, being in touch, favors. There is no one-for-one, though.
  • The good part is I do, almost everything, with utmost sincerity. And the bad part is I expect it from others too.
  • I hate procrastination. Just do it or better don’t say it.
  • Just because what I do or don't do might not seem right to you, doesn't make me wrong.
  • No, am not rude, insensitive or arrogant. It’s just a reaction. Remember? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
  • When I realize it is beyond someone's capacity to understand something, I give up. The universe will take care of them.
I WISH I COULD CHANGE 
  • I am great at losing touch with people I look up to/like/share interests with and NO, am not at all proud of it.
  • I know nothing or little about the Indian political scenario. I have not come across any politician whom I can look upto. It’s always like a choice between known devil and unknown angel. The least I do is, cast my vote.
  • My face is the index of my mind. It clearly shows, much to my embarrassment, what’s on my mind especially when am in disagreement with something or just don’t give a damn.
AM AT PEACE 
  • I prefer peaceful walks and calm dinners to partying or get together with not so familiar people. On the contrary, I love attending weddings inspite of the crowd.
  • I can very well spend time by myself, if I wish to. Actually, I prefer that to uncomfortable company.
  • Am not particularly good at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, firsts etc. Even on occasions I do, I don’t feel the compulsion to wish unless it’s heartfelt or someone who I meet regularly. Mostly, I wish to avoid offending other’s sentiments. I honestly don’t understand the ‘It’s my day, am on top of the world, ALL SMILES’ stuff people exhibit. But hey, that’s MY opinion; I don’t have any personal grudges against people who enjoy special days. But please, don’t force your attitude on me.
  • I don’t have an iota of interest in sports and I don’t intend to do anything about it!
  • When it comes to finances, am very insecure and want enough reserve to meet unexpected circumstances before splurging.
  • Am nearing the end of my twenties and I am not worried/concerned about not having accomplished anything notable so far. I believe 35-45 is the prime in anyone’s life and am sure I will, at the minimum, find what’s my calling by then. Till that time, all I want to do is keep myself motivated and stay positive.
YOU RATHER STAY AWAY, PLEASE 
  • I can’t take too much of incessant talking, boasting, gossiping, looking down at others, sticking one’s nose in, saying something and doing JUST the opposite.
  • Talking over and over about the same thing just for the heck of it and not making a point is a strict NO-NO. Radio Jockeys are exceptions but don’t forget to play few songs in between :-P
  • In a sense, I don’t like being questioned in detail about trivial things. When am into something, don’t ask me every detail about how, when, what, why just for the sake of it unless it’s going to be of some use to you.
  • If you are one of the listed kind, please do me a favor by staying away. 'look at my life, its doomed', 'am just waiting for my end', 'anything is ok, i have no interest you know' 
  • Preach ONLY if you follow!

Writing to me is...


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Writing to me is the unspoken word. And that’s exactly what I wanted to do with this blog. What better way than giving it a celebratory start with Blogadda’s WOW :-)

I am not a writer and am not sure if I have a way with words. But I intend to express the beautiful thoughts (so I believe :-)) that cross my mind but never find a stage. There are times when I have wanted to give a fitting response, a snap reply, express my opinion about a social issue or put forth a sensible point but have refrained myself from doing so for many reasons.
The reason could be anything ranging from accepting the individuality of thoughts to trying not to be rude to not having the right platform to simply acknowledging to myself that responding is a damn waste of time. Also, being a person allergic to verbal diarrhoea, I prefer to record these unspoken words as raves or rants or musings, whichever word fits the bill.

I am also a strong believer of the wonders a book can do the creativity of a child. Amidst all the celebrations, chaos and routine of life, am constantly struggling not to give up reading to nurture the undying curiosity of the child within me. And of late, I have discovered that reviewing a book helps me immensely in analysing my own thought process. It helps me in preserving the moments I shared with the book to posterity. So this blog will also record my opinions on the books I read.

Most importantly, Writing takes me into a meditative state of mind streamlining all the rushing thoughts into focused expressions. I want to decongest my mind of negative opinions and be conscious of my own self. I would be happier if my writing triggers a thought or two in the mind of the readers. 

Does charity begin at the doorstep?


Gone are the days when you bought, with complete trust and faith, sarees, biscuits, soaps, handcrafted incense sticks, ghee, electrical appliances and what not from the direct-to-door sales person. These days, there is another category of direct-to-home marketing that happens. Charity. With so many people thronging your doorstep ranging from donations for orphanages, old age homes, charity for the less privileged, financial aid for college education, alms to fulfil prayers by collecting money for their daughter’s marriage or for a pilgrimage trip and so on, you are sure to be baffled if the saying Charity begins at home has a different meaning altogether!


The problem is, with fraudsters and false schemes and beguilers everywhere people are now bound to view anyone at their doorstep with suspicion. You are left with little choice – either oblige without being sure that your intentions reach the right people or turn them all down. That includes the genuine too because identifying the genuine from the gimmick is so challenging that it’s better to be safe than sorry.

There are a variety of them out there - I have had a person at my doorstep who took the liberty to talk to me as if we have known each other for years claiming he is the ‘auto driver at the auto stand round the corner’ asking for donations for the festival arranged at ‘our’ temple. There is the ‘see it to believe it’ man who quotes your neighbours for being so generous with them and proves it by showing you the receipt book that claims to have collected donation from them. Then there is the gentleman who assures you he is not ‘yet another salesman’ and asks you to come a little closer when you suspiciously peep out of your living room behind locked gates.

And then there was this lady, neatly dressed, speaking fluent English, carrying a bunch of pamphlets, files and photos of children at an orphanage. All she wanted was my presence at the celebrations happening during the weekend at their orphanage which would make the children happier. Sounds good? Oh wait, she sure is smart enough to know people would rather prefer disposing her off by giving some money than spending their precious time. Unfortunately for her, the ‘suspicious sam’ in the neighbourhood started probing her as she was spending too much time walking up and down the same street. By the time her true colours were revealed, she had managed to collect few thousands and had enjoyed a hearty meal, tiffin and snacks at few homes.

But what makes you a cat on the wall is when there are representatives from charity organisations like CRY sporting an identity card and talking to you, without a pause, about some cause when your mind is all set on the milk boiling on the stove or the toddler sneakily polishing off his favourite chocolate spread or the phone call that you have put on hold for answering the doorbell. Being the self-proclaimed good mannered fellow that you are, you feel bad to interrupt the conversation (well, just listening makes it a ‘conversation’) in the fear of offending the person’s good intentions. I have faced quite a handful of such people and came up with a brilliant (so I thought) response – that I would check the details at their website and do my best to help them online. Ahhh, snap comes the answer, that donation would go to the common pool but not to the specific cause they are addressing for. And what’s more? They are not here to accept any meagre amount of money for a cause demanding immediate attention. They accept cheques, mind you!
At the expense of sounding rude, a word to all those Kind hearted souls ringing my doorbell. Please leave me alone! It’s MY hard earned money, I have the right to use my discretion when giving it away, be it for charity or anything else for that matter. When I want to share something with the less fortunate, I want it to reach the right hands. If you interpret my apprehensions as unwillingness to help, so be it!

Being Gayathri...


An attempt to speak the unspoken words, express the unexpressed thoughts and in the process, fulfill to my desire to write.
 

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